Growing Pains

Growing Pains

Eleanna Antoniou

            Being an adolescent girl is hard, and it takes someone who has been through the trauma of changing bodies, emotions and general life upheaval to understand just how bad it really is. Although it is hard on the child, it is possible that puberty is equally as hard on the parent. With almost nothing that can be done to help their child through these changes, parents are stuck with emotional and confused teenage daughters. I was not an easy teenager so my parents were no exception.

During my search to understand this, I stumbled upon an article by Hélène Baril, Danielle Julien, Élise Chartrand and Monique Dubé which investigated the relationship between quality of relationships in adolescence and how that affects their friendships in adulthood. These authors were trying to look at “the contributions of family and friendship relationships amongst daughters in adolescence and adulthood t their friendship support in adulthood” (p161).

            Through a series of experiments, they were able to show that a positive relationship during adolescences between mother and father showed positive effects on the daughters’ friendship outcomes later in life, and that a negative relationship would have the opposite effect. Similarly, positive communications between mother and adolescent daughters predicted the daughter’s quality of friendship later in life. When adults discussed their friendships, the presences communication between adult best friends was associated with the quality of friendship.

            So what? How does this help a 13 year old feel like she will make it through puberty alive? This study shows that when the relationships around her, such as between her parents and with her mother, are positive she will learn the skills during adolescents to have positive relationships later in life. This gives parents all the control. In order to help their adolescent daughter through this rough time, they can focus their attention not on nit picking what the daughter is wearing or the way she is growing, but rather on how their relationships can help give her positive relationship examples later in life. Although this does not dull the awkwardness of growing up for their daughter, it gives parents a tool that they can eventually make a large positive impact on the future of their teenage girls life.

Baril, H., Julien, D., Chartrand, É., & Dubé, M. (2009). Females’ quality of relationships in adolescence and friendship support in adulthood. Canadian Journal Of Behavioural Science/Revue Canadienne Des Sciences Du Comportement, 41(3), 161-168