Childhood Trauma and Future Relationships

           After having studied trauma in many psychology classes, I wanted to explore it further, as this will be my last time as an undergraduate to explore this topic. Thinking back to all the discussions I have had with the children I worked with during the Manheim Mentoring Program this past summer, I came to the realization that a few of them have experienced something that would qualify as a traumatic experience. While they have received help from others regarding their situations, I thought it would be important to find out some information regarding how these traumas might affect their future relationships. This led me to a study by Busby, Walker and Holman, which explores the idea of childhood trauma and it’s affect on adult relationships. After reading this article, I felt that is was extremely informative and had results that I would love to share with my mentees from this past summer. I think that it might be something that would help them in their future relationships.

            While it may seem obvious that childhood trauma would negatively affect future relationships of the victims, these researchers take their study to the next level. They want to find out if the perceptions of one’s self and partner are associated with the childhood trauma they experienced. If these perceptions are associated with the trauma, were they also associated with the selection of the partner? This was the most interesting question that the researchers strived to answer.

            In order to find out if victims of these traumatic situations applies their experiences in choosing their partner, the researchers used a 271-item questionnaire called the RELATE test. The purpose of this test was to evaluate the relationship of the victim and the partner. In most cases, this test helped to make partners more aware of each other’s experiences and feelings. The questionnaire illustrated that the victims were experiencing perceptual effects rather than selection-based effects; this means that victims were not selecting more neurotic or anxious partners than the non-abused individuals, though they thought that they were. However, if both partners were abused, they both saw each other and their own self as being significantly more neurotic.

            This article really opened my eyes to understanding the issues that victims of traumatic situations experience. Thinking back to all the conversations I had with my mentees this past summer, I realized that sharing this information with them in subtle ways might be helpful for them later on in life. They might be able to take some of what this article is saying and apply it to situations they face in ten or twenty years. The authors did list some benefits of the questionnaire, which included:

·      Couples will be able to better understand each other’s issues and hang-ups.

·      Helps keep the influence of trauma in one’s life in perspective: significant effect on one’s life, but only moderately significant.

·      Suggests appropriate intervention strategies in order to help the victim and the partner increase positive perceptions of self, partner, and relationship.

            So couples, if you would like to help increase the positivity of your partner perecptions on you relationship, be more open and talk about the past. As you can see in the picture above, it is possible to have that happy and close relationship you're your partner, just as long as open minds and hearts are involved. Although it can hurt and be uncomfortable, sharing and talking about past experiences and making everyone in the relationship aware of perceptions and feelings can only lead to improvments in closeness. As this article suggests, the RELATE questionnaire helps to make both partners more aware of their neurosis and anxieties; this can help improve the understanding of each person in the relationship, and in the end, it will yield a more healthy and positive relationship. So- be open with each otherl; you never know what might happen!

-Nicole Pagnoni

Busby, D. M., Walker, E. C., & Holman, T. B. (2011). The association of childhood trauma with perceptions of self and the partner  in adult romantic relationships. Personal Relationships,18(1), 547-561.