He's Out of My League

      You walk into a dimly lit room and see a gorgeous, light haired, blue-eyed man standing on the other side of the room with his buddies at his side. Do you go over to him and spark up a conversation? Do you wait to make eye contact with him and entice him over to you? Or maybe he is just way too attractive and you know there is no way he would ever go for someone like you…but would he?

      A recent study by Greitemeyer (2010) looked at reciprocal desire and if it had an influence on people’s desire for a potential partner the more the partner was physically attractive. Conversely, a fear of social rejection holds a person back from potential contact with someone who may be more attractive than the other person. We all know that physical attractiveness is one of the most important characteristics for romantic attraction. Why else would you approach someone who you didn't know? With this being known we can easily infer that mating preferences are a compromise between the desire one has towards an attractive partner and their concerns about rejection by that partner, considering their high level of attractiveness.

      Think about a time you romantically fell for someone. Did you know that the person felt a desire towards you too before you fully took the plunge in showing them how you really felt? Most people would answer yes to this question, so if you are among them then right on, you are on the right track for romance!

      The research from this study suggests that demonstrating the expectations of desire have a greater impact on partner preference (if the person is considered to be highly attractive). Greitemeyer used a two-part study, the first of which examined only the impact of expectations of desire on the participant, and the second part that looked at if this desire would change based on if the participant was made aware of the other highly attractive persons desire. For both studies, an equal amount of men and women were used and as expected, it was determined that participants reported a greater desire for a potential partner who reported reciprocity.

      Can you believe that this reciprocal desire is actually more important than a person’s level of attractiveness? So if you are looking for that special someone, here is some advice. 

Remember:

Your ideal partner would be of the highest attractiveness level that is possible for you to obtain, so try to see what this level is. If you never try then you will never know.

Don't be shy! If you are into someone, let them know because it can pay off in the long run.

Have some self esteem, because that gorgeous person across the room might be thinking the same thing you are.

- Rae Wohl

Greitemeyer, T. (2010). Effects of reciprocity on attraction: The role of a partner's physical attractiveness. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 317-330.